The Adventure Junkie Gene

I don’t possess anywhere in my genetic makeup an adventure junkie gene. I use to think I did but it turned out I have a dominant wanna be adventure junkie gene masquerading very believably as a dominant AKG [adventure junkie gene].

The wanna be gene has got me into trouble many a time over the years thinking I really wanted to do something when turns out I so didn’t want to do it all. Sometimes facing my fear is a really stupid emotional stability destroying thing to do!

The latest adventure disaster was in fact only a couple of weeks ago when weekending in Queenstown I joined the group in doing the zip line. I looked at it; thought that looks like fun and indeed those who ventured before me were certainly having fun.

It wasn’t even a big zip line, just a flying fox type scenario where you get fired off at great rate of knots stopping only a short distance away where you stay suspended briefly before being about faced to enjoy a sedate return back to base.

Easy, right!

Yeah.........hell nah!!

From the moment I entered through the gate into space one to be harnessed up [I took the seated position harness] courage underwent an abrupt shake up and the wanna be gene stood up and stated that she wasn’t a real adventure gene then promptly vacated leaving me to face this on my own. All alone aside from the 2 adventurees also doing the ride along side of me; one of whom was my very bemused husband who was most definitely looking forward to his ride.

I was assured it was only a short ride, over way too quickly. So did not feel that way to me.

Upon being ushered through into the next area my breathing became rapid and my affirmations scarpered along with the wannabe gene and any semblance of courage.

Instructions were given on what to do and how to sit, feet up – I managed to get one leg up and watched as if from a distance when the other leg didn’t seem to want to go up...managed it eventually. My lovely instructor who by now was very aware of my borderline panic status was doing her very best to calm me down and was ultra cheerful but to be fair nothing at this point would help. I was near tears, about ready to scream get me out when someone pressed that bloody button and with a mighty scream torn from me off when went.

Witness testimony later revealed upon ejection from the platform my resulting scream drew the attention of everyone within immediate vicinity including those there for the nearby bungy jump [and is case you were wondering hell no].

When we stopped at the bottom waiting for to be turned for the return journey I let rip a stream of opinions relating to what just happened which were more a lot of ‘effs’ surrounded by occasional English.

Finally back on solid ground, through both sets of gates, harnessed gone I was safe and it was over. Well aside from the shaking, that took awhile to wind down. And the tears that had trickled a little and were still threatening took a wee while to disappear. Again witness testimony, but upon arrival back I was extremely pale and colour took it’s time to return to my face. I think it was a height thing, I don’t know what else to explain that level of terror.

You did it though I was told. You must be so proud of yourself they said. Well done on giving it ago they comforted. They also laughed, commented on what a good set of lungs I’ve got and so on. I took the humour in good stead and joined in on the laughter. To be honest though I would have loved a big hug, some sympathy and a good ole cuddle.

The thing is though, at the time I didn’t feel proud of myself and in fact I still don’t.

Yes I did it but I hated the whole experience, I would loved to have enjoyed it but my terror was very real and impacted on the rest of the afternoon – queue in Gondola [OMG going up] although loved the ride down. Forget the chair lift up to  the ride the luge down.

Yes I did it so maybe I should pat myself on the back but I don’t think I will anytime soon.

As I pointed out to someone, I know my limitations and I can work within them and I’m okay with that.

As for my wanna be gene, well she turned up awhile later and was all excited about doing the hydro attack ride.............................................................I was ahead of her there though as I was totally into that.......speedy ride on the lake and under it..............yep I was scared but in a thrilling way and I loved the ride.

It was only for 15 minutes but that was enough.

Wanna be adventure junkie gene – check. But I’m learning to work with that and still find ways to challenge myself that tickle my fear up a little without scaring the shite out of me.

Nameste

Breezi’s Spirit